The case for a brighter future

To meet Danielle Guttridge, Mission Australia Case Manager, you would never guess this vivacious and charismatic woman’s life story. Just two-and-a-half years ago, Danielle was homeless with three little children and had fled her abusive partner.

“I had just escaped from a nine year domestic violence relationship and had nowhere to go,” Danielle says. With nothing but the clothes on her back, and no idea what to do, “I arrived in Cootamundra with nothing, just my girls,” remembers this brave young woman.

This is Danielle’s remarkable story of transformation from a life of abuse and torment, to a strong and successful career woman and mum of three – who now helps others who are escaping the terrifying world of domestic abuse.

“At the age of 16, I was on top of the world. I was a great swimmer with potential, a good school girl, didn’t get into much trouble. I loved looking after children and babysitting for some weekend pocket money.

“Then it all changed after one night, when I met the man who would become the father of my children. Trent* was 21-years-old. He was fun and exciting, but most of all he wanted me! I knew he wasn’t good for me, but this didn’t deter me whatsoever.

“Trent had a broken relationship with his family and I thought we were meant to be together… maybe I could fix his problems and get him to change if he had someone who loved him.

“I couldn’t have been more wrong! Entering the relationship with Trent meant I became his daughter’s step-mother, taking on fulltime care of her. After a few short weeks, I was pregnant with our first daughter Bella* and gave birth to her in 2002.

“Things weren’t too bad in the beginning. Trent was never home, and when he was, the majority of the time he was incoherent or in trouble with the police. I was so sad and depressed all the time but it didn’t show on the outside. Everyone thought things were ok, because I was so good at hiding it.

“But in reality, it was a different story... I was constantly arguing with Trent about him bringing drugs and inappropriate friends into the house. I had never noticed the drugs until this point, as I had been so sheltered from this scene all my life.

As I got a bit older, I realised what was going on was not right, and not good for me, or the children. I tried to put a stop to it, and there you have it – the abuse started.”

Danielle fell pregnant again the next year and had another gorgeous girl, Billie*, who was followed by Ally* ten months later. Then Trent found out that he had a three year old son from a previous relationship, who came to live with the family.

Doing her best to keep up with the demands of a growing family of five kids, all under the age of seven, Danielle felt trapped and afraid. She had nowhere to go for help and was unaware that Mission Australia support services like Brighter Futures were available.

Danielle’s world became smaller and smaller as she tried to protect herself, and the children, from Trent’s rage. “Things just kept getting worse,” Danielle says. “Trent was belittling me in front of the children. I wasn’t allowed to have any friends, and the friends that I did have never came around because of the way Trent behaved towards me and the kids.

“When Trent was home, it was hell. I had been kicked, punched, had things thrown at me, and had my house and belongings smashed. I was constantly covered in bruises and often locked in rooms. Trent threatened to kill me if I ever left him. I didn’t know how to leave.”

Even if she could have left, Danielle had no money. When any money did come in, she would spend it all in one go, buying groceries and things they didn’t necessarily need, to prevent Trent from spending it on drugs.

At the age of 22, Danielle made a decision. “I was at the point where the only way I thought I could get out of this relationship was by killing myself, and I was going to. I needed to find a way out; I didn’t want my girls going through this anymore. I slowly started putting a plan into action.”

Brave steps to a new life
Finally, on 1 January 2009, Danielle took the most decisive step of her life. “I had enough, I didn’t even think twice. I left everything except my girls and the clothes on our backs. Trent had no idea where we were going and no idea that we were never coming back! For good!

“I drove five hours away from everything that I knew. I burnt all my bridges with my family as they had all had enough. I turned up at my father’s place in the afternoon. I
knew he wouldn’t have me there, but he offered that we could stay at Nan’s empty house in Cootamundra until I sorted out what I was doing.”

Summoning all her remaining strength, Danielle went to the local Department of Community Services office, where she broke down in tears. Distraught and alone, Danielle didn’t know what else to do. She was immediately referred to our Cootamundra Brighter Futures service and since that moment, this inspiring woman has not looked back.

A brighter future
Brighter Futures is a Mission Australia family early intervention service. It provides support for families who have children aged eight or under, facing specific issues including domestic violence; parental drug and alcohol abuse; mental health issues; lack of family or social support; parents with learning difficulties or intellectual disabilities; and lack of parenting skills.

Staff at Brighter Futures are skilled in helping people who are in situations just like Danielle and her daughters were. “My Case Manager was great!” says Danielle. “Every time I needed to talk or sort something out they were there to support me. Brighter Futures helped me find my own accommodation within one week, provided my girls with school uniforms and placed Ally in childcare.”

Brighter Futures also helped Danielle enrol in further education so she could study a Certificate IV in Community Services. With Mission Australia’s support, this gutsy 26-year-old mum was soon back on her feet.

“There you have it,” she reflects. “I never went back. I was getting an education, my girls where safe and happy and so was I. By October, my Case Manager came over and I had my last home visit nine months after entering the program.”

Starting a new chapter
Today, Danielle couldn’t be happier. She has achieved her dream of becoming a community services worker and is now working as a Case Manager at Brighter Futures. Helping other families who are now standing where she once was, makes Danielle feel incredibly proud.

“I get so much self-worth out of just going to work everyday to help others who need support,” she says. “It’s great for my clients to know that I was once there – and that there is a way out. To top it off, I have now been in a stable relationship for two years and it is better than I ever thought it could be!"

“I didn’t see myself here two and a half years ago. If it wasn’t for Mission Australia who knows where I’d be? I wouldn’t be who I am today and able to help the people who need it the most – as I once did.”

This year Danielle is especially looking forward to Christmas with her girls and partner. “Family is always the most important at Christmas time. Now, I’m able to  give my girls the Christmas they deserve. I cry a lot these days, not because I’m sad… but because I made it!"

By breaking the cycle of domestic violence you get so much more back… happiness, strength and wholeness. I know who I am now and I have self-respect.”

* Names and images have been changed to protect the identities of the people we help.

To help families like Danielle’s doing it tough this Christmas please support our Christmas Appeal 2011.

Find out more about Mission Australia Community Services.