From fear to freedom: Cass’ story
After years of coercive control, Cass found safety, strength and a new beginning with support from Mission Australia.
After years trapped in an abusive and controlling relationship, Cass dreamed of a different life.
When asked about the exact moment her marriage shifted into dangerous territory, Cass says it was a gradual decline in trust, happiness and safety.
He’d never hurt her enough to leave bruises, making it difficult for outsiders to know what was going on, but Cass was constantly on edge. Her ex-husband would be triggered by something as simple as the sound of a vacuum, sometimes slap Cass to wake her, or accuse her of being a “bad mother”.
He would apologise, but it would happen again and again—often without a moment’s notice.
Recognising coercive control
Cass stopped seeing her friends and was discouraged from going to work. Her finances were managed by her ex-husband who used a form of abuse called coercive control.
Coercive control is a pattern of abuse where someone slowly takes away another person’s freedom using fear, manipulation and isolation. It’s a hidden form of control that can be just as harmful as physical violence.
The message that changed everything
One morning, Cass received a text from her ex-husband saying: “You need to get away from me.” She saw her chance to escape, but leaving wasn’t simple—especially with two children to protect. Cass had nowhere to go, no money and no support network.
Cass’s dilemma is one faced by thousands of women and children across Australia. In 2023–24, specialist homelessness services assisted 109,500 people who had experienced family and domestic violence. Around 48% were single parents with one or more children in their care.1
“I was always waiting, trying to anticipate what he’d do to me next. I never, ever felt safe.”
— Cass
Crisis accommodation for families in need
In Cass’s darkest moment, she reached out for help. A phone call to a homelessness helpline connected her with Mission Australia. That call changed everything.
“Most of the time, crisis accommodation for families is full,” says Emilia, a Mission Australia case worker. “But the day Cass called, another family was moving on from one of our refuges.”
Cass was given a confidential address and told to tell no one—not even close friends—for her safety. “There were cameras and security, and no one could see the house from the street,” Cass recalls.
“The internet was on, there was a kitchen with food. We’d walked out with just some bags—but the Mission Australia team made sure we had everything we needed. I felt safe. The kids would be okay.”
In the next hour, around 3,000 Australians will reach out to homelessness services like Mission Australia for help.1 Sadly, many families will be forced to stay in unsafe situations—monitored, controlled and isolated.
Safety first, then rebuilding
Emilia knows crisis accommodation is only the beginning. “It’s very hard to go from a house with all your familiar things to a single room in a refuge. Then somehow, you have to start your life over again—and that’s a huge thing to face,” she explains. “Unfortunately, we do see some women go back to their abusive partners.”
Cass came close at times. Years of coercive control had shattered her self-confidence. But the unwavering support of Emilia, the Mission Australia team and the generosity of supporters helped her rebuild her life.
With financial assistance, counselling and school supplies for her children, Cass slowly regained her independence. As she grew accustomed to feeling safe, her strength and determination emerged.
“Cass is remarkable,” says Emilia. “She had nothing and was dealing with deep trauma. But whenever she was with her children, she had a smile on her face. We could see this strong, independent person coming through.”
“Now, there’s just peace. I’m free to focus on my children. I can give them safety and stability. Our house finally feels like a home.”
— Cass
Moving from refuge to home
When the time came to move from the refuge into transitional housing, our team stepped in again. Cass received practical items to help her set up a home, and Emilia continued to check in on her. Now, Cass and her children have a place of their own. A place where they are truly safe.
Help end homelessness in Australia
Domestic and family violence is one of the leading causes of homelessness. Your donation helps provide urgent support so families can find a safe home and thrive.
* Names and images have been changed to protect the identities of the people we helped.
1. AIHW (2024) Specialist homelessness services annual report 2023–24.
Family and domestic violence support
If you or someone you know is experiencing abuse or violence, call 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732) for confidential counselling and support.